Oooo, Sick Tattoos

Flash Challenge:
The artists were each given an oosik, the bone of a walrus penis, and told to demonstrate their skills with the old-time sailor’s art of scrimshaw carving. I had no idea that the art of scrimshaw was invented here in America, nor that it was only two hundred years old. It seems like the sort of thing sailors would have come up with thousands of years ago. Most of the artists had no fucking clue what scrimshaw was, and their abilities with it showed. Still, some of them turned out pretty good all things considered, and I’m going to focus on the best.

Scrimshaw by Aaron

This is the one the judges picked, and I can see why. It made good use of the material, it showed a nice amount of detail, and is all-around aesthetically pleasing. It’s not my favorite piece, that honor goes to Angel’s homage to his hometown of New York City, but I’m just a viewer and not a judge.

Scrimshaw by Angel

Elimination Challenge

Joined by the Godfather of Bio-Mechanical tattooing Aaron Cain, this week the artists are being judged on their ability to show detail. Julia already turned in one bio-mech tattoo earlier in the competition, but it wasn’t her best work and she is dreading having to do another.

As if the pressure to perform wasn’t high enough this week they had three ribs, a gluteal, and a skull tattoo. As you can already guess, Aaron assigned Josh a rib piece and, what a surprise, Josh convinced the canvas to switch placement. The reason he keeps doing this so successfully is salesmanship, something that he completely excels at. I am so fucking tired of having to write that, but this time I really have to emphasize it because one of the other artists completely failed to provide quality customer service. Surprisingly, it was Julia.

She could not come to an agreement with her human canvas, Mark, a wall of muscle who pleaded with her to try and see things his way. It wasn’t going to happen, however, because Julia apparently had a bowl of Stupid Soup for breakfast and not only refused to compromise with him, she was completely rude and instead opted to tattoo herself.

During the critique the judges asked her to explain what happened and the look on her face when they called Mark the Canvas in was priceless. Rather than admit her egregious mistake, Julia continued to try and make herself look good, but the damage was done. She had turned in an excellent tattoo, but all that work was shattered by her incredible lack of professionalism.

Human Canvas Jury:

In another WTF moment from the HCJ we find Erik called down for this piece. Is there too much green in it?  Maybe for some people, but Aaron Cain said it was his favorite piece of the day, so clearly it wasn’t a universally held opinion.

Biomech by Erik


Angel Bauta found himself on the bottom for his work and I honestly can’t say he doesn’t deserve to be there. The piece is too dark and, compared to some of the others, it doesn’t have the same degree of artistry.

Biomech by Angel

Don found himself called on the carpet for a biomech heart that doesn’t really look like one. If he’d added some ventricles or atria it would have been a different story, but as it is, the piece looks kind of odd.

Biomech heart by Don

It wasn’t a surprise when Julia found herself called down, but she was surprised to learn it wasn’t because she did a bad tattoo. Today she demonstrated the most unprofessional conduct in the history of Ink Master, and it could have sent her home. She is wearing a target now, and one more outburst is going to get her bounced.








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